Ramblings

This is the second time in a week that I am up at 4am for no reason. When it happened last week I partly blamed my hubby with his snoring, but tonight he is quite so I have no one to blame except my overactive mind. I woke up around 2 and needed to go to the bathroom. By 3:15 I was still awake and tired of tossing so I just got up. I've been thinking about old friends a lot lately and just wrote cards to two of them. I was already thinking about people I haven't kept in touch with and I think all this Virginia stuff has sparked it even more. I wish I was better at keeping up with people after they have moved out of my daily life. I mean it's one thing when aquaitances(sp?) move on and you lose touch, but these two inparticular were very close friends...we would talk and hang out all the time and once they moved we just slowly lost touch. I know kids and life makes things hard, but I just wish I was better at it.
Unfortunately it doesn't only happen with those that move away. I've been saddened for some time now because some friendships that used to be on way simply aren't anymore. I guess the part that really bothers me is that I don't even know why. I try to do little things to keep them alive, but it's just not the same. Now I know that life just changes and people move on--there are some people we have known for years that we lost touch with (even living in the same city and sometimes going to the same church) that we have reconnected with. That is a good thing and I love it. Stuff just goes in circles like that. But this particular friendship puzzles me--things are just different and I don't know why. But just like old friendships seem to fade new ones develop. I enjoy making new friends, but it's hard to let that old 'comfortableness' go.

I know all I can do about anything is pray and tonight is just a time to get stuff out so here it goes: Dear holy God--you are my maker, my strength and my comforter. You are always there and I confess that I probably don't turn to you often enough. Thank you for my blessings--I have so many--my sweet husband and children being at the top of that list. I pray for Jeff as he nears his birthday on Sunday--I hope he realizes how much he is appreciated and loved--Even through our hardships there is no other man in the world I want to share my life with. Good times and bad he is my soul mate and I want to let him know how empty my life would be without him. I pray you help him find peace and contentment--not every little piece of his life might add up to where he wants it to be right now, but you have a plan--help him to be patient and me to be supportive. Lord, help me to be the mother you want me to be to my children--I want to raise them well and most importantly I want to teach them about you. I know I fail on a daily basis to be as patient and in tune with them as I could be. Help me remember to take time to play and enjoy being with them now because they'll be teenagers before I know it. I hear about all the sensless acts of violence in the world and I'm scared--scared for the world they will grow up in--PROTECT MY CHILDREN. I know this is the same prayer of so many parents, but I know you hear it like I am the only one. As they grow I pray your protective arms will cradle them and get them through this crazy life. I want them to be healthy, to serve you (Christian already sings your praises and I don't think I have ever heard anything as sweet) and become good christian adults. I want them to have children that can occassionally drive them crazy, but always give them joy--I selfishly would like Jeff and I to enjoy that too. Please give Jeff and I health and long life to enjoy our children's lives and the lives of their children. God I pray for my family--I am blessed to now have my parents living in the same city--literally down the road. That is AWESOME. I pray that you allow them to enjoy this new home and all the time they will now spend with their grandkids:) Be with my dad (and mom) as he adjusts to his retirement--it can't be easy to switch gears that have been running for 30+ years in the working world. Let him find new things to do and enjoy. There is so much joy to come--my sweet sweet sister is getting married!! Thank you, Lord, for bringing Travis into her life--he is a man after your own heart and we could not ask for more. Bless he and Kim as they begin their life together. Let them always keep you at the center of their realtionship. Give them both a sense of peace as graduation and wedding approach--give them strength and endurance to finish what needs to be finished and a sense of fulfillment of a job well done. Lord protect Travis as he begins his service to our country. I pray your hand will guide every helicopter he flies and mission he takes part in. Keep him safe and return him to Kim every time!! Protect them both wherever their journeys may take them and let them know this home is always open to them upon their return. My children are so blessed to have both sets of their grandparents in their lives--They love all four of them so much. Thank you God for allowing us to have this time with both of our families. Be with Nana and Papa as they serve so many on a daily basis--they bring smiles to so many that may not have gotten one that day. Be with Jeremy as he tries to finish school. Lord be with him as he makes plans for his future--make YOUR plans known to him and let him follow your path.
Friendships are really on my mind lately, God. New, old, those I see every day and those I have lost touch with. Bless my friends and their families. Help us all make time for each other and to be the friends you have called us to be. Allow me to understand that you have plans for everyone of us and we don't always know the hows and the whys.
Lastly, give me rest. I only have an hour or so before people begin to wake in this house. Turn my mind off and bless me with much needed sleep. Give me patience today and let me have fun with my children...Thank you Lord for listening to my heart...Thank you for sending your son...Thank you for being you...I love you Father, AMEN